Dear Ape,
I’m currently living in Brazil and just ended a four month relationship with a legitimately awesome boyfriend because I’m going home to California next week. I say legitimate because we have so many things in common, we like the same music, we’re vegetarian, and we get along better than most people I’ve ever met which is all pretty surprising considering many Brazilian men are self-centered womanizers unless you find a true keeper. We always took our relationship lightly because it had a definite expiration date but the last time …

Hey Steven, okay, you’re ‘fast drivers’ piece got me thinking of the more literal fast driver. I just moved from CA and I saw them there, and, now in Switzerland but doing stuff in Germany on a monthly basis, I see them there for sure too. But, contrary to what you might assume, my beef is not with them, the fast drivers. I mean, they do have a right to go fast if they want, right? And, as might be apparent now, I can be a fast driver too at …

Why is it that we will hang out with people that don’t make us feel good much of the time? In fact, sometimes they make us feel shitty (I know… they can’t make us feel anything we are in control of our reaction, blah blah blah) but every once in a while there is a glimpse of a really good time to allow us to rationalize the whole thing???
We do? Who is we? You and your dog? Or are you one of those peeps that names their parts.. like Long …

What’s your take on hitting on girls with a kid? because I have a little girl but no girlfriend. We were never married, tried to make it work but it didn’t, you’ve heard the story before. But here I am with a 3 and a half year old daughter who I love, but am watching most of the time. Can a single ape help a single dad figure out his single dad game? I always feel like such a creep. Thanks!
Rilly? That’s kind of like asking “ape, I have this …

Ape,
Hi. First time I’ve ever written you, but I have a question. I’m a photographer and had this girl in a shoot the other day. I know you’ve talked about this dynamic so I thought it would be good to ask you. We seemed to hit it off and she has texted me and talked to me since the shoot. The thing is I can’t tell if she has a BF. She has made reference to “our” cats and “our” place but I don’t know who the “our” is. But, …