When I was a kid, I used to come home from school and pop in one of those personal pizzas that you had to put the pizza on the silver cardboard tray that it was shipped in. I forget the name but I was super into them. I also made a lot of popcorn in the thing. But for the most part I always felt about the giant appliance in the corner much like Mitch Hedberg did. I don’t have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that …

On Monday. So we are a little slow over here. This one was suggested by a friend whose last name is Trout. Really. But has been thought about by all of us. And that’s the one name restaurant trend. Home, Kitchen, Cold, Toast, Pear, Jar, Crush, Jam, Park… Do you want me to keep going? It’s not just kind of annoying, it’s really annoying. I admit that I sometimes eat at Home. Not my house, but the restaurant of the same name. Why would you ever name a restaurant home …

My friend Jessica makes tiny food. It’s totally amazing. She is going to have a show of it with prints this Friday in Los Feliz. Attendance is required and it will be a major part of your grade, so be there…

I’ll admit of the bat, I hate labels. Or people self labeling themselves. Even ones that work. Even when I was doing commercial music for work, I’d always sidestep the answer to “are you a musician?” I’ve never called myself a musician, or an artist or a writer. I don’t know what it is about those names that just turns me off. I think it has to do with the fact that people who do label themselves, really take over the label in a way that makes others who aren’t …

Remember that game mercy where you try to bend someone’s hands back until they have to scream for mercy before you stop? I feel like that right now with the hipster food armada known as the food trucks of Los Angeles and I’m screaming for mercy. It’s gotten to the point where I feel the need to use a word I don’t love using…retarded. For so long we just had taco trucks. If you don’t know, you need to find out. Some of the taco trucks are mind-blowingly delicious. …

Ape-
The I notice you’ve talked about not eating meat. I’ve thought about trying that because I like animals, but I also like steak. What do you suggest?

The other night I had a dream. I was at this pool in my hometown that is more like a lake with a surrounding park. For some reason I was changing my pants and it was a sunny day. As I’m trying to get my second leg in with that weird hop we do when putting pants on while standing, the mood started to …

Today on our episode of Eat Your Land, we will ingest some yucca flowers. My house has some major yucca growth going on. Every year or so my neighbor is nice enough to help me cut down one or two that have gone so ballistically Dr. Seuss they are hanging over his house and power lines. This year it seemed like they all were, and on top of that they were blocking my view. Trees, schmees.. show me some buildings. Again he was nice enough to come over and help …