Is it hard to date a flight attendant because they’re hardly ever home, even if their home base is local?
What.. do you think I’m god or something? Is this going to open the floodgates of “do you think it’s hard to date a (blank)” questions? I’ve never dated a flight attendant. I’ve never even flirted with one, except for the standard smiles-for-beers frequent flyer game I like to throw. The only thing worse than having your server hating you is to have your flight attendant hating you. But it’s hard …

Dear Single Ape,
wondering your take on how men really view women that do not have the ideal body. In the past I worked really hard to have a nice (fit) body, then relationship shift happened, went into destructive mode (beer, vodka, bong, hotdogs) and here I am like 60 pounds later. I am slowly working to get in shape again, but it will take some time. It’s hard for me to date since I do not feel comfortable with my body, if I ever go out on a date …

Hey Ape,
This is a serious question and I really don’t know what to do.  It’s New Years Eve and I think it’s a good question for this day and the near future.  It’s about drinking.  First, I want you to know I don’t drink.  I simply don’t like the taste of any liquor.  I say that because I can tell you I never notice if people are drinking, what they’re drinking or how much they’re drinking.  Having said that, all this breaks down when it comes to a certain friend …