dearest ape,
first, i love and adore you, your apeness, your blog, column, nopes, music, photos, everything. second, my question… well, plea for guidance. help me!!!! as i have read and know from personal experience, in this city of angels, it’s hard out here for a pimp! i don’t mean to toot my own horn and say that i’m awesome or anything, but as far as it goes, i would not call myself something at which to sneeze! i’m a sane, rational, hard-working, somewhat attractive, height proportional to weight, fun lady. …

My guy of three months just moved down the street from me and despite a LOT of bumps in the road, things are okay, although I think we are in the power-struggle phase. UGH.
At his old house, he had a picture of his ex on his bedside table. I figured once he moved, he would realize he still had it and get rid of it. They dated off and on for five years but broke up two years ago. He never mentions her and says they are friends.
WELL LO AND …

Dear Ape,
I went to this show last year to see a local hip-hop group perform. They didn’t show up so I went to the bar and had a few drinks. I was happy to start chatting it up with a group of cute boys that I later found out were the last performers. They were in from LA just for the night and were down to hang out so we decided to keep the night going and hopped around to a few different bars in the city. I got along …