I know. Total layup, right? Of course this sucks. Duh. On top of that, it’s the kids. Can’t we just leave the kids alone and have their day even if they look like clowns the morning after getting lost in a rave and taking too much E? I suppose. But I noped me, so it’s all open season now. It is on. And I have to say, I really, really hate streetwear. And not only because it’s silly. (Which it totally is..) But also because it is also totally vapid and purposeless.

I also know, styles come and go. When I was a kid, there was some pretty dumb shit happening, but nothing this dumb. Stores like supreme, A-life, etc. etc. It’s all useless. Selling nothing to nobodies. It reminds me of the stock market actually. An endless cycle of manufacturing to sell to manufacture. A vicious circle whose beginning and end was lost long ago in a long progression of clothes for an active lifestyle of buying clothes. Like the stock market, whose purpose is totally questionable, streetwear jsut feels like a way to make something for people who actually aren’t really into anything. Sneakers aren’t a lifestyle, neither are tshirts.

“But Steven, just let em do what they do..and don’t worry about it” You see, I do worry about it. Here is a whole culture of kids sucking at the teet of Nike and buying into this idea that corporations are now O.K. because they are in tune with cool. Truth is, they are just hustling the game like any money hungry corp does. They don’t care about skateboarding, or art, or culture. They care about money. Turns out money now filters through skateboarding, art and culture. But when it no longer does, Nike will pull up the tent posts and move on to the next town without a thought in the world except “are you sure we milked that last town for every last possible cent?”

And the kids will sleep overnight on a sidewalk waiting to hand over their money. Streetwear to me is the look of the new materialism. The one that says “I don’t give a fuck about anything except looking good, no matter how many 14 year olds huffed glue for these dope kicks.” I totally understand that to be American is to be apart of this culture, because it is how we have been raised. But nothing quite embraces and celebrates this fact like streetwear. Excessive without purpose.

Besides, take a tip from the 80s, neon never stays on the pedestal long and it is a long hard fall. Those goofy print tshirts and neon jackets are the raver pants and furry backpacks of the future. You might want to start destroying the evidence now if you knew what was good for you.

All of you get a big fat neon splatter-painted jumbo nope-T courtesy of Nike x Single Ape for attending this Nope rant. (while supplies last. XL only)